Originally posted Nov 8, 2017 on Yogapoetica.com
Once an addict, always an addict, I used my teaching career and practice as if they were drugs. Teaching every waking moment and planning my schedule years in advance gave me a bigger high than a line of cocaine. It gave me the high of feeling in control. My practice was also a fix. I had to do it or I started to have withdrawals, feeling uneasy and angry. I would work for months on end without break. Chasing my next exciting opportunity, my next high. This shoulder injury is not the first major injury I have had since I started teaching yoga, this is my fifth! I have sprained my neck, torn my hamstrings (yes, plural), crashed a motorbike in Bali (this was yoga related, believe it or not), and contracted an infection in my knee that put me in the hospital. I would learn my lesson for a month or two and slow down, but then I would start jonesing again for my next thrill and start right back up at the same pace. I could not stop. There was nothing peaceful about my yoga anymore, it was all an escape from the anxiety of “being”….